If I had to describe the sensation as a physical one, I would say it feels like that anxious, nervous shiver when you really need to piss but know you´re a good ten to twenty minutes away from taking said piss. You want it to be over so you can clear your mind of the impulse and use more of your attention for non-piss related thoughts.
It is something I've discussed often with other columnists who also work in the consulting space. Not the metaphorical need to piss, sadly not all would enjoy such deep thought, but the feeling you have when you can't comment or talk about a big media story right up your alley because you have a conflict of interest that would make you a biased observer.
The same knowledge and experience that has made someone a credible columnist also makes them an attractive hire or consultant to the same industry.
This requires balancing, often it means just not writing for a while. Every public sector role I have had made it clear, without me asking, that I would not be allowed to do any media as every one in the past decade has had some level of spokesperson responsibility.
It's not just a moral obligation to either acknowledge a conflict, or not weigh into the space at all, it's also a legal obligation.
Fortunately everyone I know in such a work scenario takes it very seriously, including me. I see how it could become a slippery slope, and the damage to reputation would be disastrous, but not everyone is as even-of-mind as us. There are, to use a very dated turn of phrase, some real cowboys out there.
This doesn't take away from the situation that something in your speciality space, something you could provide important context to, is out of bounds. As a writer this limitation goes against a natural instinct to delve into uncomfortable or topical subject matter. To fight through discomfort, embrace it.
I am currently in such a situation. Three really. One has been affecting me more than the others, though. The worst in some time, since the last really good/bad one.
It can potentially be notable in its absence, if you write weekly and/or about one subject frequently it may become impossible to avoid touching on the situation.
This is not my preferred choice, but if it was inevitable than something along the lines of ¨I have worked for XXX and therefore need to make that clear, I can't say much about the topic because of this¨ would probably do.
Ultimately, it is cleaner to just avoid the matter completely, even if it is uncomfortable - like reading about piss multiple times in an earnest post.
For the reader's sake and for your own. You need to hold it in*.
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